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The Bitter and the Sweet

My father’s Memorial Mass is later this morning.  I have just finished stapling together all of the booklets for the Mass, and Brighid and I worked on a photo collage Thursday night to display at the visitation and the Memorial.  All I have left to do is print directions for the funeral director to give to the people so they can get to the luncheon.  I am finding that with the passing of a few days, I am not crying as much, but I am feeling more like this was a bad decision.  I just wish he had waited, given the dialysis another chance, maybe given us a little more time. 

We went to Brighid’s Graduation dinner dance last night.  The school cafeteria was beautifully decorated, and the kids all looked great (well, most looked great).  On the way there, I got very emotional.  We had to drive past the nursing home/rehab center my father was in before he went to the hospital with the pneumonia that convinced him to end dialysis.  I was supposed to take Brighid there before the dance so she could see him and he could see her all dressed up.  She looked so beautiful, and I know he would have been so happy to see her.

I remained tear free at the dance until they asked the Dads to escort their daughters to the floor for a dance to “Butterfly Kisses”.  That song normally brings tears to my eyes, but just days after losing my own Daddy, and watching our little girl dance with her Daddy just broke my heart.  And then, I glanced around the room, and there were at least two, maybe three other little girls with no daddies there.  I thought it was a little out of sorts for the school not to take that into consideration, but maybe it was the DJs decision.

I posted some pics of Brighid in her photo album.

My in-laws came in from FL today to help Brighid celebrate her graduation.  They came by tonight to take pictures of her in her dress, and then stayed here with my mother until 9 PM.  My mother isn’t at all fond of my MIL, so I owe her big time now. 

Well, it’s after 1 AM and definitely past my bed time.  I hope the dreams are sweet and the baby sleeps!!