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My first big hurdle 🙁 I got a call today from the gastroenterologist’s office to confirm my consultation for Monday, July 3rd. I confirm, then ask if there are instructions for the EGD on Wednesday. They do not have me scheduled 🙁 They are booked for Wednesday and she doesn’t know if they can fit me in before my surgery. Now when I made the appointment, I made it perfectly clear how important it was to get this done in time. They told me I can ask the doctor on Monday if there is anyway he can squeeze me in, but they made no apologies or any concessions for the error on their part. I even asked if I should bother to keep the appointment on Monday, because if they can’t squeeze me in, I have to find someone else. She said that was up to me. What a ***.

I’m not posting the name of the office until after I see the doctor on Monday, but if they’ve jerked me around and wasted 2 weeks when I could have gotten an appointment with someone else, I will be one pissed fat chick. I phoned 3 other offices after I got off the phone with them, and there wasn’t anyone who had an appointment available in time for my surgery. UGH.


I went today for my venous doppler study, and I have no blood clots in my big fat legs. The test was painful at times, which I did not expect. I thought it was an ultrasound kinda thing – which it is – but in a few areas, she had to press pretty hard to get the image she needed, and especially in the groin area, that hurt!!

If I had done a better job in the timing of things, I could have waited and scheduled this on the same day, same place as my chest x-ray and would have only had to go once. I don’t know if I can do my EKG and chest x-ray on the same day, but I expect I can. I am going for a marathon testing day if I can – all of my blood work, my EKG and the chest x-ray all at the same time.

My EGD is coming up next week – little worried about that, but I have to get it done.

My kids are all pretty well arranged for. My oldest daughter, who was going to be going away that week, is now not going until the following week. I think I can leave her here with my two younger daughters the day of the surgery, and have my husband just come home that night with the girls. My stepmom has also offered to help out, so I think we’ll be able to work it all out.

It is just over a month away now! I can’t believe after all these years of putting it off, I’m that close to it.


I had a mammogram today! It was my first ever, and it was MUCH easier than I thought it would be. It was a test added on by Dr. Heck, and I was lucky that the radiology center had a cancellation for today, or else I was going to have to wait until August, which meant I might have to change my surgery date. In the coming weeks, I have an EKG and EGD scheduled, as well as the doppler study. I have a dental cleaning, and I have to get in for a chest x-ray and some blood work. I see Dr. Heck again on July 17th to go over everything I’ve had done, and then he will send his final report to Dr. Nusbaum. I also got very lucky with the EGD. When I called the doctor that Dr. Heck recommended, the secretary told me no way was I getting in in time for my surgery. She asked who my doctor was, I told her Dr. Heck, and she told me to hold on. Suddenly, they had time to squeeze me in for a consult on July 3rd, and the EGD on July 5th. That’s the test I am most dreading. I used to work for a GI doctor, and I know they are not fun. The thing I am most dreading next? The Fleets kit!


I met today with my primary doctor, Gary Heck. I love this man to death, but he has always been very negative about gastric bypass surgery. I went in prepared for an argument, and instead, I got what I hope everyone pursuing this gets – a doctor who said he would work with me, help me with whatever I needed, wished me well, promised me he would not allow me to have this surgery if he finds anything in any of my tests that would make me less than an ideal candidate, and sent me on my merry way with phone numbers of people he recommended I see to have the tests done. He is such a wonderful, caring doctor. He also told me I must be the smallest person seeking WLS – I can’t believe that. Feeling as fat as I do most days, that was the kindest thing anyone could say to me. He said he was surprised I qualified at my weight. If he wasn’t married, I’d marry him. Of course, Jim might have a problem with that, but I’m sure if Dr. Heck shared in the yard work, a deal could be arranged.


I had my appointment today for the psychological evaluation. The therapist was Louisa Latela from Haddonfield, and boy, did I like her. She was so nice and so helpful, and I really thought she was someone you would like to be friends with. She just had a sweet and gentle way about her and she seemed very new age-y. I hope I passed the audtion and she clears me on her end for surgery. I didn’t come across too nuts!

6/7/06 = Part II

Another phone call from the doctor’s office. This time, it’s Wanda, and she gives me my date – August 1st 🙂 She makes me feel much more comfortable when she tells me she will send me a letter with everything I need to know in it – prescriptions, orders for tests, everything I have to do will be all spelled out. Thank goodness.

I told my two moms (my mom and my stepmom) today that I got approved. My stepmom immediately volunteered to keep my two youngest kids for a week. My mom was less helpful. Hopefully, when the time comes, she’ll be able to pitch in.


On my way to my middle daughter’s preschool graduation, my cell phone rang. I AM APPROVED!! I don’t know what to do or when to do it, and I feel so overwhelmed right now with the stuff that has to be scheduled. I hope something helps me get organized!

I Have a Date

So, for a couple of years, I have been researching bariatric surgery.  I have gone back and forth, wondering if it was something I could do and not die.  Right before I found out I was pregnant with Grace, I made an appointment with a bariatric surgeon in South Jersey.  I had to cancel it to go to my first ultrasound appointment.  I lost about 50 pounds during my pregnancy with Grace, and like every other fat chick who has had the same experience, I expected I would have no trouble keeping it off.  Lo and behold, not only did it find me again, but it brought with it 5 or 6 of it’s little friends.  Something has to be done.

I did some more research, and wanted to find a surgeon who seemed to really be knowledgeable – not just someone who does the operation.  I believe I found that in Dr. Nusbaum.  He seems like he is a pioneer in the field, making the surgery better and safer.

I had no idea how long it would take to get approval, but  I got mine today.  I still have testing to do, and I have to get my family doctor to give the final okay for the procedure, declaring me fit and ready for surgery.  I hope I won’t have much trouble with that, because I know Dr. Heck doesn’t believe in this surgery.

I am hoping to start my life over.  I am hoping to find confidence and feel better about myself.  I am hoping to live a full life with my kids, not one where I am afraid to do anything.  I am not the kind of mom I want to be to them, and I won’t be weighing this much.

So, August 1st.  It is the start of my new life.  A rebirth.  A new beginning.  A promise of a brighter tomorrow.  And hopefully, a size 14 by Christmas.

The Graduate

Eilis successfully completed 4 year old preschool today and graduated in a small ceremony at her school.  The kids sang 5 or 6 songs, then they were each presented with a diploma.  Eilis had most of her family there.  Mommy and Daddy and Gracie were there; Dram and Pop-Pop came; and Nanny took off from work to the be there with her.  When the ceremony was over, we went to lunch at the Italian Bistro (poor Nanny had to miss it because she had to get back to work), and then Eilis got to go for a sleep over at Dram’s house. 

Starting in September, she will be in kindergarten for a full day, 5 days a week.  I know I’m looking forward to it, but I’m pretty sure Eilis isn’t!


I got a phone call today from the office asking if I have had my psych consult done. I did not know I needed one. Apparently, it is not a requirement of my insurance company, but of the doctor, so I quickly asked for help on the SJBSS list and had an appointment scheduled by the end of the day. I meet with the therapist on Monday afternoon.