A post on the blog of a woman I truly admire inspired me to write this. Go visit her blog now – she’s phenomenally and sarcastically funny, and a wealth of information on weight loss surgery. And she has kids that are just about the cutest kids on the planet – well, except for the three that live here. Seriously, go check her out…
Why is it that people feel an obligation to feed us? As recovering fat people, my husband and I have become acutely aware in the past 9 months of what we eat, what we bring into our home to eat, and what we eat when we go out to eat. I am hoping that the new found rules we choose to live by are somehow trickling down to my children. I don’t want them to worry that they are getting fat, but I want them to be aware and conscious of the things they put into their mouths. I want them to know that bad food does bad things to your body. I don’t want them to become anorexic, but I want them to look at the size Jim and I allowed ourselves to be and see something wrong with that.
Despite our best efforts at home, during the holidays – any holidays, you name it, Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day, Pop-Pop walked by the pretzel cart day – my house is bombarded with food. We’ve received baked goods, chocolates, candies, sugar coated fruit, nuts, popcorn, pretzels, wine, beer, you name it. And as if that isn’t enough, every time I take the kids to go visit my mother, her and my stepfather feel some obligation to shovel food at them. They must think I never feed them. This morning, for example, I dropped by with Gracie, since my mom is having surgery again tomorrow. I fed her breakfast when I fed the other two. I TOLD my mother and stepfather that. They promptly put together a breakfast of eggs and sausage. When she didn’t eat that (BECAUSE SHE ALREADY ATE BREAKFAST!!), they gave her an apple. When she didn’t want the apple, they gave her chocolate chip cookies and milk. She didn’t eat enough of that though, because before we left, my stepfather made her an ice cream cone.
I feel relatively powerless. I don’t want the kids to feel deprived of things – they ENJOY getting the snacks and treats in the mail. My mother-in-law, especially, sends these adorable tins LOADED with snacks, and the kids go crazy for them. And I don’t mind Christmas, Easter, even maybe Valentine’s Day or their birthday, that they get these special little treats. But the rest of the year, I wish people would chill with the food. I tell my mother EVERY time I go there or drop the kids off, PLEASE stop feeding them. Eilis doesn’t need a milkshake with breakfast. Yes, I know she loves them, but no, she still doesn’t need it. Yes, I know I’m mean to not allow my kids to eat cookie sandwiches, but cookies weren’t meant to be used in place of lunch meat and peanut butter. It doesn’t matter that you use whipped cream as the “mayonnaise”. My mother raised a fat daughter, a daughter who didn’t eat through most of high school to stay thin, and another daughter who battled weight issues until she became ill. Seems to me like she has an unhealthy history with food that is being passed on to my kids.
Does anyone have parents who live only a 20 minute car ride away, but they pack food to bring to visit? My mom does that. She and my stepfather show up here with a brown bag FULL of stuff for the kids when they come. I don’t buy soda anymore, so they always bring a can of soda for each kid; a soft pretzel; bananas; apples; lollipops; cookies – you name it. I feel tempted to open up my fridge and all of my cupboards for inspection so that they can see that I do feed my children, and I already have most of the stuff they are bringing – well, except the stuff THEY SHOULDN”T HAVE ANYWAY!!
Okay, the rant is over.