It was 5 years ago today that Bean died here at our house. I walk around here today feeling just an overwhelming sadness and the whole wave of grief that I felt in the days following her death seem to flood back as if the whole thing happened just yesterday. I get sad that she’s missed seeing how great Brighid is turning out, and I miss that she didn’t get to see Eilis grow, and I miss that she didn’t get to meet Granuaile. I know she probably looks over them, but for them, it’s not the same as having her here would have been.
There’s not a lot to say to elaborate on how I feel. I guess I am surprised every year that I still feel so sad. Because life has gone on and I don’t spend every waking hour thinking of her, I feel safe saying that her death is something I’ve “gotten over”, and then a day like today hits, and it hits hard.
So, Bean, just letting you know that I’m thinking of you, I love you, and I miss you.