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Bean’s Anniversary

It was 5 years ago today that Bean died here at our house.  I walk around here today feeling just an overwhelming sadness and the whole wave of grief that I felt in the days following her death seem to flood back as if the whole thing happened just yesterday.  I get sad that she’s missed seeing how great Brighid is turning out, and I miss that she didn’t get to see Eilis grow, and I miss that she didn’t get to meet Granuaile.  I know she probably looks over them, but for them, it’s not the same as having her here would have been.

There’s not a lot to say to elaborate on how I feel.  I guess I am surprised every year that I still feel so sad.  Because life has gone on and I don’t spend every waking hour thinking of her, I feel safe saying that her death is something I’ve “gotten over”, and then a day like today hits, and it hits hard.

So, Bean, just letting you know that I’m thinking of you, I love you, and I miss you.