As the Wound Turns – The Continuing Saga

Because people are sending me messages and asking ever so politely (like the one “What the hell is going on with you??”) why I haven’t updated my status and what’s going on with me, here’s the latest and the greatest.

First, no one is to feel sorry for what’s going on.  I am not the world’s best patient, by any stretch.  When I was supposed to be home, sitting on my arse, recovering from the initial surgery, I was reaching for things I couldn’t reach, taking car rides I didn’t need to take, and doing way more bending and lifting than I probably should.

Then when my surgeon expressed concern over a 10 day trip to Florida while I had an open wound, I gave him big puppy dog eyes and batted my eyelashes.  When he wasn’t impressed by either of those things, I begged, pleaded, and promised video conferencing if necessary.  He finally consented, against his better judgement, and we all know how that turned out.  I got infected with germs known only to alien space rangers inhabiting the far reaches of New Mexico in government secured facilities, and ended up spending nearly a week at the lovely Paoli Hospital and Day Spa.

Obviously, some of this is my own fault.  And really, it’s not all that bad.  I am not in a tremendous amount of pain; the nurses like to remind me that I shouldn’t be pushing, pulling, or lifting, so I’ve had quite the reprieve from housework and other daily chores; and my doctor is a cutie, so weekly visits to see him aren’t even all that painful.  So don’t feel sorry!!

So where am I now?

Let me introduce you to my significant other – the wound VAC.  This fabulous little device hangs around my neck, cleverly concealed in an oh so stylish black canvas bag (Louis Vuitton eat your heart out), and continually sucks stuff out of the wound.  The nifty and convenient canister holds all of the bodily fluids that my body apparently doesn’t need, and it improves circulation in the area of the wound to promote healing.  It reduces healing time by up to 60% on average.

And you thought I was just another imperfect face!

The nurses and my doctor seem really pleased with how well I am healing, although the one wound nurse that is an expert in this field estimates I probably have another two months committed to the wound VAC.  My goal is to be wound VAC free by the time of our Moms Panel October reunion.  Fingers crossed.

In the grand scheme of things, life is good.  I am well on my way to recovery, down about 15 pounds from where I was before surgery, and fitting more comfortably in a smaller size (or two, depending on the clothes).

Tune in next week…or whenever I get around to it…..to see the next chapter of As the World Turns!