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Christmas at Walt Disney World – What We Love, What We Love Less

The smell of Christmas ham may still be wafting through the house, and you may still be walking past those last three Christmas cookies that no one really likes, tempting you to break your New Year’s resolution to lose weight.  So why on earth am I talking about Christmas at Walt Disney World already?

If you’re a DVC owner, you probably know why.  We are already coming up on the 11 month booking window for next Christmas, and if you want the resort preferences you want, you’ve got to book early!

For those who are always on the fence about whether or not to book their Walt Disney World vacation during the busiest time of the year, here are the reasons why we do.

Christmas Dinner at Artist Point – The Wilderness Lodge location just screams Christmas.  The rustic lodge with the roaring fireplace and the giant Christmas tree make this a natural choice for the holiday.  The cozy, warm feeling of Artist Point is as close to Christmas dinner at home with family – if your family lived in a Norman Rockwell painting – as you’re going to get.  The food is delicious (is it wrong that my mouth is still watering over the pork belly and corn and crab salad I had?), and the location ideal.  It’s a perfect Christmas meal.

The Decorations – Remember the year that you had all that free time at Christmas after the shopping, wrapping, baking, cooking and cleaning, so you decided to deck every hall in your house with boughs of holly, elegant wreaths, themed Christmas trees, and giant gingerbread houses?  Yeah, me neither.  But guess what?  You’ll have all of that at Walt Disney World!  Wreaths and garlands dripping with ornaments, trees that soar towards massive ceilings, and life sized carousels and gingerbread houses can be found in every corner of the resorts.  The best part?  You won’t get sap in your hair setting the tree up, and you don’t have to vacuum all the pine needles out of the carpet.

The Lights – I wish I could say that our house is like the Griswold Family Christmas, where the dad wants so many lights on the house you can see it from outer space.  It’s not.  My husband is the king of understated Christmas lights.  We usually have a battery operated candle in each window, but the batteries usually die by December 4th, and they don’t usually get replaced until the following year, when my husband decides it’s cheaper to throw the lights out than replace the batteries, and the whole process begins again.  Any other lights are usually put out by the kids and I, and I gotta tell ya, if it’s cold, I’m darn near tempted to dump the light box into the bushes, plug in the first plug I find, and pray it’s on a string of lights that actually works.

The Osborne Spectacle of the Dancing Lights is the ultimate holiday light display.  Snow, music, and millions of lights makes it more festive than I could ever dream at home!  No matter how ambitious I am with my own lights, there’s just nothing that compares with the amazing display.  You just want to walk down the street hugging people.  Seriously.

Candlelight Processional – If you are lacking Christmas spirit at home, you will surely find it here.  This is a narrated story of the birth of Christ, read by a celebrity narrator, with the accompaniment of a brilliant choir and amazing orchestra.  There is nothing better to do on Christmas eve than to enjoy a wonderful family meal, followed by the Candlelight Processional, followed by Illuminations.  It’s another hug everyone experience.

So, I’ve convinced you to be on the phone with me later this week to make your reservations for Christmas, right?

Well, yeah, there are a few things we don’t love about Christmas at Walt Disney World.  It is crowded.  You can expect lines for attractions to top 90 minutes or more.  There is some stress trying to get dining reservations and the room you want at the resort you’d like.  And it’s really tough to pack a family’s worth of Christmas presents and decorations in your carry on bags for the plane.

But honestly, some of our best family vacations are the ones we’ve spent at Walt Disney World at Christmas.  We make it our annual holiday destination.

Alan From Holman – Doesn’t Play Well With Others – If They’re Girls

As lots of you know, we recently bought a new car.  I hate new car shopping for a lot of reasons.  First of all, I’m not a “shopper”, I’m a buyer.  I want to go to a store, make a rash decision, and pay for said decision.

But most of all, I hate car salesmen.  My apologies in advance to all of the upstanding, honest, and non-smarmy car dealers who are reading this.  I have always felt that they talk down to me, and I’m not exactly a very commanding figure, so I’m easy to bulldoze.

Today, though, Alan the salesman went too far.

We got a call a week ago from Alan saying they didn’t have the title to the car we traded in, despite the fact that we gave it to them.  He suggested that if it couldn’t be found, we’d have to give them $95 so they could get a copy.

Yeah.  No.  Not doin’ it.  I handed you a piece of paper, you nickel and dimed me to death on a car, and I will be damned if I fork over another $95 because you lost that piece of paper.  Not my fault.  Alan told me we could have the weekend to look for it, and despite being told we had nothing to look for, he ended the phone call with the assumption that I’d cave in and pay the money.

In the immortal words of my favorite comedian, John Pinette, I say nay nay.

So today, good old Alan calls back.  Jim answers the phone, but because he is sitting next to me, I hear Alan claim that they don’t have the paperwork they need, and even though Jim repeatedly tells him it was in the packet of papers that I painstakingly put together, Alan is still pushing for that $95.  So I took the phone.

I tell Alan exactly what Jim told him, only in a girl voice, which immediately causes Alan to adopt a condescending attitude.  After I told him we were not paying to replace the paper that they lost, this is what Alan said to me:

“Obviously, we have a misunderstanding, so let me talk a little slower for you.”

Oh. No. He. Didn’t.

But yes, he did.

The creepy ass condescending jerk then told me, when I questioned his questioning my intelligence, that I was yelling at him.

Dude doesn’t know what yelling is.  Yet.

Oh, but he is sending someone to my house with the papers for me to sign so they can send their check in and replace the title they lost.

So – Holman in Maple Shade?  You might want to have Alan avoid dealing with women.  He doesn’t know what to do with the smart ones.