In case you haven’t noticed, we are a society bound by the chains of technology. Believe it or not, we used to leave our homes without our telephones – primarily because they were anchored to the wall and the handset anchored to the part anchored to the wall. There wasn’t texting, Tweeting, Skyping, online dating – none of that nonsense.
I won’t say we’re not better for the things we have, but some things are more special the old fashioned way. Remember the way your heart pounded when a boy called you? I used to take the time to fix my hair and check my makeup before I took the phone. How about the time your favorite guy stopped by because he was in the neighborhood and couldn’t find a pay phone to call you? It still makes me smile to think of the times it happened to me.
But even more than that, getting engaged is one of those things where men should take a step back in time. With high school kids pressured from the sophomore cotillion to come up with more and more elaborate “promposals”, by the time people get engaged anymore they need a camera crew, costume changes, a flash mob, and a YouTube channel.
You wanna marry one of my girls? Here’s what you should know. Before you ask her, ask her dad. I can promise you this – he’ll never agree to “give away” one of his daughters, but let him see that you love her nearly as much as he does and want to give her a life that will bring her happiness in the happy times, comfort in the sad times, and companionship the entire way and he might just agree to walk her down the aisle to you. Besides, if it’s good enough for Sean Bean, it’s good enough for you.
Don’t worry about sky diving into Yankee Stadium with a ring that will have her digging your family out of debt for the first five years of your marriage. Find a place that means something to both of you, get down on bended knee (just one – no groveling), and don’t make promises. Tell her what your intentions are, what you want your life to be like, and how much better you know things will be if you travel the road together. So skip the side show and circus acts – just bring the sincerity.
And finally – enjoy your moment. Give yourselves an hour or so to let it all soak in before you make phone calls to your moms. Then give your moms a few minutes to call the people they love and want to share it with firsthand before you make it “Facebook official”. With a wedding to plan, that hour you give yourselves may be the last calm hour you’ll have until you get back from the honeymoon.
And wait until you get back from your honeymoon to make your marriage “Facebook official”. The people who matter most will have shared it with you the old fashioned way – by your side.