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Getting Back To School Over a Mountain of Paperwork

Remember the good old days?  We were all out to save the planet – remember that?  We were recycling, conserving energy, having our bills and bank statements sent electronically to save paper, and stopping the junk mail to save trees.  Remember back then?

I have just printed out nearly 50 sheets of back to school paperwork – between Eilis, Granuaile, and myself.  My printer has waved a white flag, and the guy selling toner down at the office supply store just ordered a brand new BMW.  Oh, and there’s a group of conservation enthusiasts chained to my dogwood tree out front with signs that say, “You Won’t Take This One Without a Fight”.

Let’s not even talk about the writer’s cramp I’m about to get while I fill out all this paperwork!

Is there no way to order a Seat Sack online for Granuaile?  She goes to Catholic school, for pete’s sake, they have my bank account number on file in case I skip out on the $11 bucks because the school doesn’t take PayPal or credit cards for this particular item.  And while I’m at it, what IS this particular item?

There are lunch order forms, emergency contact forms, parent volunteer forms, school supplies which can only be purchased from school order forms (Really?  Just tack that extra $10 on my tuition and give my kid the supplies on the first day.  You already know they need them – you typed it out on a form to tell me!), and even a form from the PE teacher that I have to sign that says my child will be exercising in PE class.

Where is the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream flavor in support of fewer back to school forms?  They could call it “Mom’s Gone Nutty” – vanilla ice cream, sprinkled with nuts, spiked with tequila.  That should keep me unconscious until next year’s school forms have to be filled out.

The Days That It Sucks Being a Mom

Remember when you held your brand new baby in your arms for the first visit to the pediatrician’s office, and the friendly, kind, and gentle doctor you so carefully selected after dozens of interviews with other qualified doctors turns into some sadistic maniac who wants to pierce the tender flesh of your infant to get a blood sample?  And then he wants to shoot her up with some sort of vaccine that you know, despite more than 40 years of FDA scrutiny, could still cause children’s ears to fall off or something equally as awful.  And you held it in as long as you could, but there you are, at the front desk, checking out, with tears quietly smudging the ink that lets the secretary know when you need to come back.

Those are the kinds of days when it sucks to be a Mom.  The days where, despite your best efforts and intentions, someone hurts your child.

Unfortunately, the sucky days don’t end when the vaccines are done.  The boo-boos get bigger, and based on my experience, they aren’t as quick to heal as they are when your kids are small.

So even though I could jump for joy over the fact that my daughter’s version of Prince Charming (who from this point forward shall be referred to by the name I called him – Prince Are You Freakin’ Kidding Me?), seeing her hurt puts a damper on my celebration.  Let the air out of the balloons; put the noise makers away; throw the cake in the freezer.  I’m actually not sure who cried harder over the break up – Brighid, because she broke up with Prince Are You Freakin’ Kidding Me; or me, hurt to the core at seeing her cry.

As much as I love the job, there are just days that it sucks to be a mom.  When you realize you can’t protect them from every bump, bruise, and broken heart, it breaks YOUR heart.

Thank goodness for Ben and Jerry.