There are true insomniacs – people who genuinely and legitimately cannot sleep. And then there are people like me. I am on the go pretty much constantly during the day, so when I finally do lay down to go to sleep, unless I have the television on to keep my mind distracted, my mind wanders to a variety of things that make no sense.
The other night, I decided to turn the television off, and I hoped I might just drift off to sleep. An hour later, I put the television back on, and was probably asleep within ten minutes.
What kept me up for that hour? I knew you’d ask, so I jotted it down.
1 – Why on earth would people want to use a bidet? Yes, gentle readers, bathroom habits kept me awake. We don’t generally use a bidet here in the states, but there have been bidets in virtually every European hotel we’ve stayed in. Seems to me that it’s hard to use them, you end up drippy, and even Charmin wouldn’t be an effective way to dry off. And how sanitary are they? Inquiring minds…
2 – Why can’t they tarp my street? I live on a side street off of a main road, and while I applaud the Bellmawr Municipal services, if they can tarp over the field for the Eagles to play on, why don’t they tarp over my street, then untarp it when a snow storm is over? Just have a team of people rolling up the tarp at the end of each blizzard, with a truck leading the way to gather up the snow. Then I could pull out of my driveway onto nice, dry streets. Fabulous idea.
3 – Who would read this stuff? People are always telling me I should write a book. About what? What do you guys want me to jot down that you’d pay real money for to download on your Kindle? Do you want me to write a Disney guidebook, to join the plethora of Disney guidebooks out there? Or do you want me to write about the crazy crud that happens to me on a routine basis? What is it that people want to read, really? Stephen King I am not.
4 – Why can’t I make a latte like Starbucks? It never tastes right to me. And there has to be a way to make it at home just as good. Without having my favorite barista Sandi move in with me. But I do have a fold out sofa….
5 – How freakin’ lucky am I? Married 20 years; three amazing daughters; wonderful parents and in-laws; and friends that I love.
And on that note, I put the TV back on before I sappily cried myself to sleep.