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Kim Kardashian Doesn’t Poop

Not only that, but she doesn’t fart, either.

Imagine that.

Now we know what all that junk in her trunk is.

Come on – seriously?  How much pressure are we putting on young girls to be perfect?  Remember when we only had to worry about being pin thin like Twiggy?  Now, girls have to cease all normal bodily functions!

Perhaps it’s just that Kim hasn’t taken her new fiance into her “fart confidence”.  She may not be comfortable “expressing herself” yet in his presence.  But not pooping?  How long do you think that marriage will last if Kimmy has to run down to the 7-11 to use the potty so Kris Humphries doesn’t realize that she’s human?  A girl can only drink so many Big Gulps before the new husband gets suspicious!

Well, don’t worry, girls.  Those of you who aspire to be Kardashian perfect can relax.  Eat those beans, enjoy that broccoli, and drink that coffee.  I’m sending a copy of one of my kids’ favorite books to Miss Kim.  Then she can aspire to be like the rest of us!