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Today, I Shall be an Ultrasound Technician

You are never more empowered than while watching daytime television.

I have always told my children they could be anything they wanted to be, but being home, with no kids in the house, and free time to watch quality television (Maury, Jerry, Judge X, Y, and Z), I am convinced even more this is true.  Hour after hour, I am offered amazing opportunities through the benefit of television commercials, all intended to guide me on the appropriate career path.

Interested in a career in medicine?  Of course you are, because according to commercials, there are JOBS available in the medical field.  With a few months of your life, a few thousand of your dollars (that they will help you find if you don’t currently have it in the bank), and the investment in a super cute set of scrubs that will scream PROFESSIONAL, you could be a medical assistant, a medical biller, or a licensed practical nurse.  Until daytime television, I did not even know they still made licensed practical nurses!


Medicine is not your thing?  That’s okay!  You could be working in Hollywood rightthisveryminutenow with just a few weeks worth of training in cosmetology.  Apparently, the movie industry is looking for you; no, not you – you, with the fuzzy bunny slippers and two day old salsa stains on your jammies.

Touching the faces of enormous celebrities creeps you out almost as much as taking the pulse of an elderly person with Skeletor wrists?  Dude, you could be the next Top Chef!  Do you like to eat?  Do you like to eat food?  Do you have an interest in putting food on a plate before you eat it?  Then you – no, not you with the salsa stained jammies, who clearly doesn’t care about plating that food before you eat it – could work alongside professional chefs like FILL IN THE NAME OF A CHEF YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF.


But today, ultrasound technician school is on the hard sell.  I can make the difference in the lives of expectant mothers or save lives of patients with heart problems.  I might spot cancer, surround myself with medical professionals, and still be home when my kids are done school.

Who needs the army to be all you can be?  You might discover it just by watching daytime TV.  Now pass the Cheetos.