Okay – so I don’t dare tell you how much I weigh – until I don’t weigh that much anymore. Then I’ll be all like, “Oh, did I tell you I lost 12 pounds?” That’s how I roll.
So, I found an iPhone application that helps me keep track of my calories. It’s kind of a neat app, in that it lets me put in my starting weight, how much I want to lose, and at what pace I want to lose the weight. After I programmed everything in, the thing called me a big fat ass, and then told me to lay off the Girl Scout cookies. I kid…
Unless I actually do something with the gym clothes I bought besides pairing them with the right eye shadow and the perfect shoes, I am limited to just under 1400 calories per day if I want to reach my goal in time. Of course, seeing a number that small, I instantly thought there must be a zero missing somewhere – or they were giving my calories in metric or something (yeah, I know).
I was pleasantly surprised at the end of the day yesterday when I had only gone over by 17 calories – and that was because I stopped for a second latte. I can’t be blamed for that one – my crazy husband tossed and turned all night long the night before in his sleep, and as I dragged my butt on the ground, I knew I needed caffeine or a contract hit man to deal with the rest of the day.
But today, gentle readers and dear friends, I faced the ultimate challenge. We were running late, and I had to stop to grab breakfast for the girls. It was also the opening performance of Eilis’ play at school. Being the fat mom that I am, I thought I’d reward them with a treat – Dunkin’ Donuts for breakfast.
I could have stopped and gotten them fruit and yogurt; or even an egg McMuffin, which would have been healthier and eliminated my temptation. I didn’t.
And I ate a doughnut.
And I’ve stayed in my calorie range (well, 12 calories over for today – blame that second latte again).
The thing I’m most proud of is that I didn’t go back for a second doughnut – as I have been known to do. Or come home and decide that I needed a doughnut for lunch, if for no other reason than to get them out of my house as quickly as I could – to save the rest of my family from the burden of obesity. Because I’m kind like that. And glaze is my favorite food group.
So as I stand here in the confessional, I hope that my prayer for absolution – my Act of Doughnut Contrition – includes at least an “Amen” for avoiding temptation for the rest of the day.
