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Alan From Holman – Doesn’t Play Well With Others – If They’re Girls

As lots of you know, we recently bought a new car.  I hate new car shopping for a lot of reasons.  First of all, I’m not a “shopper”, I’m a buyer.  I want to go to a store, make a rash decision, and pay for said decision.

But most of all, I hate car salesmen.  My apologies in advance to all of the upstanding, honest, and non-smarmy car dealers who are reading this.  I have always felt that they talk down to me, and I’m not exactly a very commanding figure, so I’m easy to bulldoze.

Today, though, Alan the salesman went too far.

We got a call a week ago from Alan saying they didn’t have the title to the car we traded in, despite the fact that we gave it to them.  He suggested that if it couldn’t be found, we’d have to give them $95 so they could get a copy.

Yeah.  No.  Not doin’ it.  I handed you a piece of paper, you nickel and dimed me to death on a car, and I will be damned if I fork over another $95 because you lost that piece of paper.  Not my fault.  Alan told me we could have the weekend to look for it, and despite being told we had nothing to look for, he ended the phone call with the assumption that I’d cave in and pay the money.

In the immortal words of my favorite comedian, John Pinette, I say nay nay.

So today, good old Alan calls back.  Jim answers the phone, but because he is sitting next to me, I hear Alan claim that they don’t have the paperwork they need, and even though Jim repeatedly tells him it was in the packet of papers that I painstakingly put together, Alan is still pushing for that $95.  So I took the phone.

I tell Alan exactly what Jim told him, only in a girl voice, which immediately causes Alan to adopt a condescending attitude.  After I told him we were not paying to replace the paper that they lost, this is what Alan said to me:

“Obviously, we have a misunderstanding, so let me talk a little slower for you.”

Oh. No. He. Didn’t.

But yes, he did.

The creepy ass condescending jerk then told me, when I questioned his questioning my intelligence, that I was yelling at him.

Dude doesn’t know what yelling is.  Yet.

Oh, but he is sending someone to my house with the papers for me to sign so they can send their check in and replace the title they lost.

So – Holman in Maple Shade?  You might want to have Alan avoid dealing with women.  He doesn’t know what to do with the smart ones.