The first words my daughter heard as she took her first breaths in this world were not mine. They were not the doctor’s. The words did not belong to her father or the nurses.
“The heart is a bloom. Shoots up from the stony ground.”
After 10 years of heartache and heart break, my tiny, pink, screaming bundle of beautiful baby entered this world to the sounds of Bono and U2 singing this song. “It’s a Beautiful Day”. How ironic.
“You’re out of luck and the reason that you had to care.”
The song is about finding hope where there isn’t any anymore. It’s about grasping at the straws of the best things in your life and not letting go of the grasp you have on them. It’s about looking past all the bad and finding the good. It’s about losing everything, but appreciating the fragments that are left.
“You thought you’d found a friend to take you out of this place; someone you could lend a hand, in return for grace.”
Everything about this baby was perfect. What she did to my heart was nothing short of a miracle. It was a healing, grace from God to bring peace to my entire being. Because until the moment she was born, I didn’t count on this being the blessing it was. So many times, this ended in nothing but agony. But not this time.
“Touch me; take me to that other place. Teach me. I know I’m not a hopeless case.”
My entire soul was lifted the day Eilis was born. From the embers of crumbled dreams, from the despair and the desperation, she emerged with light. And love. And beauty. She was renewed hope; happiness rejuvenated; life refreshed.
“And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth. After the flood all the colors came out.”
She was the rainbow – a promise from God like the one sent to Noah. There would never again be the flood of sadness into which I was so sure I might drown. My beautiful, much loved, much wanted baby girl was my sign that the flood waters were receding, and I had been left with so much more than I ever dreamed I had.
And as my beautiful baby girl turns 13, she continues to light my way. So different from her sister, she brings a new perspective to this world, one unique and utterly Eilis. I am truly blessed each day I get to share with her and watch her turn into an incredible young woman. I am so grateful to be her mom.
“It was a beautiful day. Don’t let it get away.”
Happy birthday, Eilis. I could not possibly love you any more. Until tomorrow.