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Shower Every Day and Feeding Them Pee-tatoes. Call DYFS.

I am apparently one of the meanest mothers on the planet.  As I stood in the kitchen tonight, slaving over a home cooked dinner of scallop bacon chowder, my youngest child stood behind me, watching as I added the ingredients to the pot. 

“What’s that?”  “Leeks.”  “I no yike yeeks.  Can I have Dora yogurt?”  “No.”

“What’s that?”  “Garlic.”  “I no yike gahyic.  Can I have blueberries?”  “No.”

“What’s that?”  “Potatoes.”  “I no yike tee matoes.”  “No, Granuaile, they are potatoes.”  “I HATE pee-tatoes!  Don’t make me eat pee-tatoes!”  “You have to eat them, you’re Irish.”  “I HATE Irish!”

As if it wasn’t bad enough that I tried to poison my children with potatoes (which, by the way, Eilis doesn’t like either), Eilis walks in.  I tell her to go hop in the shower.  Dinner will be a little late, and rather than try to squeeze in a shower after dinner, it’s better if she has it now.

“ANOTHER shower?  Are you people shower crazy or something?  Why do we have to get a shower like almost EVERY day???”

Well, damn.  Had I read the mom handbook properly, obviously, I would have known that children should never be made to shower and eat potatoes.  Where did I put that darn handbook anyway?  Maybe there’s something in there about not having to drive their ungrateful little hineys to school tomorrow…..